Coming Home
by protege99999
Summary: Sometimes you have to take the long hard road home. updated chapters!
1. Default Chapter

**Coming Home**

Author: Protege99999

Pairing: Josh/Donna, eventually

Rating: PG-13, mostly R later with swears and sexually references

Spoilers: Around season 3, hints to Cliff 

Summary: Sometimes you have to take the long way to get home.

Disclaimer:  I don't own these characters.  

Author's note:  This is my first West Wing fan fiction.  I tried to stay away from getting into the detail political stuff, because then I'll really sound like I don't know what I'm talking about.  Please review!!!

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**Donna's Apartment**

Donna put down her ice cream as she got off the couch and answered the door.

"Josh?" She found Josh on the other side of the door, his hair and jacked soaked from rain storm raging outside, "What are you doing here? Why are you all wet?"

"I had to see you," he simply stated.

"Well come in," she ushered him into her apartment and took his overcoat and suit jacket.  

"You want some tea or something to warm you up?"

He smiled at her, "sure that'd be great."

She entered the kitchen and busied herself in making two cups of tea, never lifting her eyes off him.  He was sitting with his back to her; his posture slightly slouched, facing the television.  She returned to him with the two cups of tea.

"Here this should warm you up."

He smiled as he took the cup from her, "Thanks."

She returned the smile and drank from her mug.  He was being unusually quite and she couldn't figure out what exactly he was thinking.  He had been like this all day.

"What are you doing here Josh?"

"I…I came…" slightly frustrated with the lack of ability to form a sentence revealing his thoughts, he ran his hand through his hair.  He looked over at her and smiled again, "I need a reason to come over?"

"Ah, the use of misdirection?" She questioned him back.

"Well truth be told, I thought maybe we needed to talk.  (He sighed) I know things between us have seemed strained at times lately and I just thought…well I mean I thought that perhaps we needed to address these issues."

She wasn't quite sure what to make out of this little speech.  It started off personal, two friends trying to make amends and he ended it sounding so professional, pulling away from her again.

"Why tonight?" She questioned as she finished her tea.

He waited a moment to reply, "Amy and I are over.  Well really we have been for a while, but officially last night we are over."

"Ah, I see."

There was silence between them again.  The fact that he waited until things with Amy were over to finally try to make amends was not lost on Donna and she wasn't going to let him off that easy.  She was going to make him work for it.

He picked up the ice cream carton she was eating from before he came over.  It had started to melt.  Ben and Jerry's Phish Food, a true sign that Donna was having a bad day.

"Bad day?"

"It's been a bad year, Josh."  She sighed and took the melted ice cream from him and moved to the kitchen to put it away.  

She returned from the kitchen and stood in the living room, hands on hips looking at him.  He felt uncomfortable under her gaze.

"You said you came over here to address our issues, Josh."

He looked up at her, "I did….I just…I just don't know where to begin."

"Are you still mad at me?'

"God Donna, no!"  His yelling took her a bit surprised.  He noted that and continued slightly calmer "Why don't you understand I wasn't mad?  I was just, I don't know disappointed I guess.  I mean you knew him for what two days and hopped right into, I mean…"

"Josh, critiquing my character isn't going to make things better between us," Donna stated angrily interrupting him.  "I have not said one word about what you are or what you did with Amy."

"Amy's not republican." Josh stood now facing Donna, closing the distance between them.

"You're upset because he holds different views then yours?"

"He just didn't hold different views then me.  God he ran the damn investigation.  He could have kicked us out Donna.  Don't you see that?  He could have helped impeach the President?"  He was getting angrier.  This was not the conversation he came over to have and things were quickly getting out of his control.

"You don't think I know that?  I ended it for that particular reason, but Josh he didn't.  He helped us out."

"You call a censure 'helping us out?"

"Next to the possibility of impeachment?  Yes? For protecting Leo, yes I do call that helping us out.  He's one of the good guys Josh.  So stop being mad at me and stop being mad at him."

"For the hundredth time I'M NOT MAD AT YOU," he yelled at her to emphasize his point.  

"Then what the hell is it? Because it sure feels like your pissed at me," matching Josh's tone.

"I'm in love you," he yelled back at her, instantly regretting the tone he used.  "Oh god. Look, that's not the way I wanted to tell you.  I came over and I had a plan and then I got here and I don't know…I got nervous and then things spun out of control…"

"Please don't," she raised her hand up to him shutting him up.

"Donna…."

  
"Josh I don't want to be your rebound girl."

"You're not my rebound girl.  If anything Amy was my rebound girl.  I think this is stupid, we shouldn't tip toe around this anymore.  I love you and I know you love me and nothing else should matter."

"Josh please don't…"

  
"Don't what? Try to make myself happy?  Look Donna, you're the best thing that happened to me and you're the only one that keeps me sane.  I need you in my life, without you I'm literally lost.  I wouldn't know where I'm supposed to be or what I'm supposed to be doing.  You're the reason I'm so successful, without you or your billion note cards and useless facts, I wouldn't know what I was talking about.  My life is getting out of control and I need someone, I mean I need you.  I can't do this alone anymore."

"Josh, you should leave."

"Are you kidding me? I come over ready to start something that's been years in the making and your asking me to leave?  I know you love me.  You can't hide that from me.  I see the way you look at me, the things you say to me.  I'm not oblivious.  'I wouldn't stop for red lights.' You think I'm dense and that I can't read you, but I assure you I'm not. I understand more then you think.  I see the signs.  Don't you understand you could make me a better person?"

Her eyes narrowed and she looked up at him, "So because I run your office efficiently and I get you to meetings on time, you have decided that I'm the girl that you're meant to be with."

"No Donna that not what I meant.  Look…"

"Josh this is not about me and you.  This is about you.   You're confused about Amy and you're grabbing onto me like a life raft.  Well I got news for you I can't keep all of us afloat.  I can't be your safety net."

"No it has nothing to do with Amy.  This is about us."

  
"Then why did you wait till the day after you broke up with her?" Donna sighed and continued.  "Josh look as flattering as it is to hear you say all these great reasons of why you love me and my research techniques I need to go to sleep," Donna walked over to where she placed his coat.  She handed him his suit jacket and raincoat, "I believe I asked you to leave."

"Donna, this isn't over."

She opened the door to the apartment.  Shaking her head she said "No Josh it's been over for a very long time."

"I....," he looked at her he didn't know what to say.

"I'll see you tomorrow at work Josh."  Her tone was cold and it was clear to him that she truly didn't want him here anymore.

"Goodnight Donnatella," he placed a soft kiss on her forehead as he left.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer and notes Chapter 1.  Okay I posted Chapter 1 on Saturday and have not seen it anywhere on fanfiction.net unless I search for it.  I have received reviews (and thank you for taking the time!), so I know some people have read this.  Hope you enjoy!

**Outside of Donna's Apartment**

He stood outside her door long after he heard her turn the locks.  He didn't know what to do; this wasn't supposed to be the end.  This was supposed to be the beginning.  

He pulled out his cell phone and called Sam.

"Josh?" Josh could hear loud music in the background and CJ laughing.

"Sam? Where are you?"

"CJ's apartment.  Why are you calling? You should be consummating your.Oh God you chickened out," then yelling to the others, "CJ you owe Toby twenty dollars, he chickened out."

"No Sam.  She said no.She said no."

"Oh god Josh.  I'm sorry I mean I .what did you say?"

"Um listen are you guys going to be there, I'd rather not do this over the phone."

"Yea come by."

"Bye"

**Donna's Apartment**

She stayed behind the door listening to him.  She didn't move until she heard him hang up his phone and walk down the stairs to the street.  Silent tears streaming down her face she headed down to her bedroom.  She couldn't do this.  She couldn't get wrapped up in him again.  He was a man for the chase and she would be discarded once someone that presented a greater challenge came into play.  She would not let him hurt her.  He was slightly right.  She had loved him, but these past months the comments, the looks, the fights they had placed her toll on her and her affections.  There was only so much one person can take and she was past her breaking point.  

**CJ's Apartment**

By the time arrived at the apartment the music had been turned off.  He found the three of them in CJ's living room.  Josh grabbed a beer from the fridge and plopped own on the couch between CJ and Sam.  The three of them stared at Josh waiting for him to offer an explanation.  He looked up at them and repeated himself from earlier, "she said no."

"Josh what happened?" asked Toby.

"I don't know.  I mean we were drinking tea and next thing we were yelling."  
"Yelling?" Sam asked

"Yea we were fighting about Cliff and Amy and next thing I know I was yelling that I loved her.  And then she got mad at me."

"Well women do like to be wood Josh., not yelled at"

He rolled his eyes and drank from his beer, "I know CJ I'm not a complete idiot.  I told her how much she meant to me and how she makes me a better person and she asked me to leave."

"She kicked you out?"

"Yea."

"But."

"I know. I .just.I know.  All of this time and nothing," frustrated he ran his hand through his hair.

CJ consoled Josh by rubbing his arm and, "Josh she probably was just was confused.  I mean it was kind of sudden and you two were not on the best of terms."

"It's just, it wasn't supposed to be this hard you know?  It's not the way I thought things were going to happen."

"Honestly neither did we Josh."

Josh smiled at his friend, "Thanks Sam."

He sighed, finished off his beer and stood, "I should be going it's getting late.  Thanks guys for hearing me out.  I'll see you tomorrow."

**The White House: the following morning**

Donna came in earlier then usual.  She figured she couldn't sleep any longer and hoped if she appeared busy when Josh arrived, he wouldn't say anything to her about last night.  She headed into his office to place his schedule and messages on his desk.  While in there she spied his overcoat and suit jacket hung up in his office, she concluded that Josh had beaten her to work this morning.

"Morning."

Donna jumped, surprised by Josh's entrance.

"You scared me. What do you think your doing?"

He smirked at her, "well it's my office, I was thinking of getting some work done."

"Your schedule is on your desk, along with your phone messages prioritized by importance.  Sam and Toby asked for a lunch meeting.  Your 2 o'clock meeting with the Whip has been pushed back to 3 and Leo wants some time around 6," she recited to him as he briefly scanned his schedule.

He looked up and smiled at her, "Thanks Donna."

She left the office confused.  He was taking this much better then she had hoped, of course she saw right through his little act.  She knew he was hurting and knew he was a professional, but she expected him to be a little bit more subdued, sulky even.  Maybe she was right, maybe he went home and thought about it and realized that it was a stupid idea.  'Well,' she reasoned with herself,' if he isn't going to act bothered then I won't.'

All day the charade went on, he acted as if nothing happened and she played along, however they did not seek each other out for anything that wasn't absolutely necessary. Communication between the two was mainly he making requests and she fulfilling them, or she letting him know about adjustments to his schedules and missed phone calls.  Josh tried to start small conversations with her and she entertained him by answering back, but both knew something was missing from their exchange.

 While things with Josh seemed to be at least more comfortable then she could have imagined relations with the other staffers were less desirable.  She wasn't oblivious to the looks that she received from CJ and Sam.  Toby was harder to read.  She couldn't tell if it was disgust or disappointment or what he was feeling.  She knew that Josh had gone over to see Sam last night.  She wasn't surprised that the others had heard about last night.  She just wasn't expected to be punished by the entire Senior Staff.  The other assistants noticed it as well and questioned Donna at lunch.  She brushed it off as a minor argument she had with Josh earlier in the day.  She wasn't sure they believed it and she wasn't sure they really cared.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer and everything else first chapter.****  enjoy**

**White House:  Two weeks later**

Things had progressed downhill pretty quickly days later.  In the beginning at least Josh was trying to make an effort, being polite and even trying to at least hold some kind of small talk.  She realized that he was feeling stress from a certain educational bill they were trying to pass and she wanted to avoid adding pressure and stress onto Josh.    As the days passed, Josh and Donna's relationship grew weaker and weaker.  It was at the point of Josh yelling commands at Donna from his office or sending short emails.  Her level of responsibility was also dropping as the days went by.  He no longer kept her past 7 p.m., insisting that should he need her, he'll just page her.  Josh seemed to trust her less and less with important tasks, opting for one of the other senior assistants to complete the job.  Josh farming out her job did not help her relationship with the other staffers, which had also been steadily declining.  The others staffers, taking the lead from their respect bosses and Josh, started to slowly freeze Donna out.

Donna wasn't sure what to do.  It did not seem like Josh needed her or trusted her anymore.  And if Josh did not trust her, then she couldn't be successful at her job.  Right now she felt like a glorified intern, answering calls and copy unimportant notices.  After a nasty fight with a copier, she decided she couldn't do this anymore.  She couldn't be around this environment any longer; she needed to feel important again.  She needed to feel like she was making a difference.  She started a job search.

**  
**

**White House:  Several Days later**

"DONNA!"

She sighed and entered his office, "Yes Josh?"

"Can you run these books over to the East Wing to the First Ladies office? "  
"Sure.  Anything else?"

"No, but could you see if Ginger's free, I'm going to need her help with some research."

"I could help you if you want.  It's what you pay me for."

"Thanks, but Ginger's got a little bit more experience with this subject.  Besides you've got to deliver these books for me."

Donna sighed, "Okay see you later."

'Well this is a new low,' Donna thought to herself, 'being forced to ask other people to do my job.'

**East Wing**

"Hey Amy."

"Hey Donna.  Oh great, is that the stuff from Josh?"

"Yup.  Make sure you tell him I made it all the way here without getting lost or losing anything."

Amy smiled at Donna's sarcasm.

"Everything okay between the two of you?" 

Donna thought about lying for a second, but then reconsidered when she realized this was the nicest anyone had been to her in weeks.  And of all people Amy.  Sure she had her reservations, for all Donna knew Amy would use this against her.  But what did she have to lose, she was planning to leave anyway.  She already had three interviews lined up.

"Things are a little tense actually."

"Everyone seems on edge on that side.  I'm sure it's just the education bill.  I heard that Schiller and Thompson might jump."

"Well that would be why Josh has been working on them all morning."

"He didn't tell you?" Amy asked surprised.

Donna shrugged, "Josh doesn't really tell me anything important anymore.  I'm basically a glorified intern over there."

Amy couldn't believe she was considering this, but if they weren't taking advantage of Donna, she might as well be.  Amy knew that Donna was bright and could hold her own with Josh, which would be a huge asset.  Besides it'd piss Josh off.

"Well look I don't know if you're interested, but we do have some room over here."

Amy could swear that she saw Donna's eyes light up for just a second, but Donna quickly composed her self to not give away her interest.

"What type of job?  Because as much as I loved to make a difference, assistants in the West Wing make more then those in the East and I've got rent and bills to pay."

"It's not an assistant, although it's not much higher.  It's a Junior Advisor for Political Affairs.  You'd report to the Senior Advisor, Janye Guiness, who reports directly to me and the first lady.  It isn't that glamorous, but it offers more pay and more input.  And until you're settled, it has the added bonus of avoiding the senior staff." 

"Donna, what a pleasure to see you on this side of the building.  Glad to see that Josh let you out of his wings for a moment."

"Actually, Mrs. Bartlet, I just offered Donna the Junior Advisor position."

"Really?  Did you accept? It'd be a great career move."

"Well I don't know."

Donna looked back and forth between these two women.  Two women she admired, even though if she'd never admit it out loud about Amy.  These two strong and smart women seemed interested to work with her.  They were giving her chance in a lifetime, how could she say no?

"Are you sure I'm qualified?"

"Please Donna, you were Josh's aid for three years now.  You've helped him research and advise the President, I think you're ready to move on your own."  Donna started to think that maybe all this time, Amy did not hate her.

Donna looked at both women again and smiled, "I'd love to be your Junior Political Affairs Advisor, Mrs. Bartlet."

"Great, I'll leave you with Amy to sort out all the details.  Besides I have to go to some lunch for the arts of some country I honest to God think is 5 days old.  Pleasure to have you as part of the team, Donna."

Mrs. Bartlet left and Donna and Amy headed into Amy's office.

"So how soon before you can start?"  

"Well I'll give Josh and Leo the standard two weeks notice.  That should give me plenty of time to hire a replacement and train them."

"That should be plenty of time to get your office furnished."

"I'm sorry did you say office?"

Amy laughed, "yea, you get an office.  But don't celebrate yet, you haven't seen it."

"But it's an office. I'll be happy with just that."

Donna suddenly became quiet and thought for a moment.

"Amy can I be honest with you?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"Well, why are you doing this?  We haven't exactly been pals in the past and I know a lot of it has to do with our respective relationships with Josh, but why would you help me out now?"

Amy sighed, "Well it's true we haven't gotten along and your right it was about Josh.  I'll admit it I did not like you when I met you.  I mean look at you, you're a 13 year's old wet dream and Josh had the maturity level of a 13 yr old.  So yes I was jealous of you, of course I'll never admit it out of this office.  But I offered you the position because I know how smart you are and the experience and contacts you have are definitely an asset.  You can be incredibly valuable to Mrs. Bartlet and her agenda.  Besides I know this will piss Josh off, and I enjoy that."

Donna smiled at Amy, "thank you.  Thank you for that and for the job and well basically for being my savor." They both laughed.

Donna stood, "okay I'm going back to my desk, Josh probably thinks I'm lost somewhere."

"Bye Donna."

Donna left and closed the door behind her.  She took a look at her surroundings, which in two weeks would be home.

"And so starts a new chapter."


	4. Chapter 4

Everything in part 1…

Josh sat in his office thinking to himself over the past few weeks.  He couldn't believe how quickly things had gone from bad to worse.

_"Donna has been gone forever.  I am not exaggerating.  I sent her over there like forty minuets ago to drop off some books.  I hope she didn't have a run in with Amy because that will make her even more pissed at me.  Yea that's right I've made the woman I'm trying to get to love me, so pissed off she doesn't even look me in the eyes. "_

_"It's not my fault things just spiraled downward so fast that I had no control over them.  At first I tried to be nice and banter with her.  I tried to act like we were the old Josh and Donna.  We were great, we were like Sonny and Cher, except we didn't sing or have matching outfits.  I'm regressing, I tried to be nice and have conversations about work and other things with her but it was just too hard.  She didn't seem interested in talking to me, just completing her tasks and making her more miserable was breaking my heart. " _

_"This lead to my great idea of using the other assistants to help me out with the imminent deadlines.  Sam and CJ were willing to give up their assistants; Toby was a little more reluctant.  He was urging me to try to work things out with her.  But I couldn't ask her to stay late and help me.  It hurt too much to have her so close to me and yet not being able to have her.  Here comes the part where the plan backfires:  other staffers start to notice what's going on.  Once the other staffers and assistants start to realize that Donna's level of responsibility in the office has decreased they have been avoiding her like the plague.  They all have some idea of what they think happened and they all think that Donna's on her way out, so best to avoid her.  I feel even worse now.  Not only have I made her feel horrible, I made others avoid her_."

"_Oh Donna's back.  And she's smiling.  Well I would not have guessed that to happen.  I sent her over there, to inevitably see Amy and she comes back smiling.  What the hell is going on? Oh see caught me looking better pretend to be busy.  I'm going to go talk to Sam about this latest development."_

Josh exited his office with various folders, to appear as if he was attending to business.

He called over his shoulder, "I'll be at Sam's if you need me."

Donna looked up as he walked away.  She caught him staring at her, but she couldn't quiet read his expression.  It was not the hurt or anger that was clearly written across his face for the last few weeks.  This look was almost sorrow and loss.  She started to second-guess her decision to leave, what if this was a sign that things were improving.  She shook her head. No she wasn't going to get sucked back in again, besides she already told the First Lady that she accepted.  She'd wait until she got home to draft her resignation letter. 

**White House: The next morning**

'Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit,' Donna thought to herself.  She had already been there for over an hour and placed her letter of resignation on Josh's desk and in Leo's inbox.  However due to a bad alarm clock and a metro train that broke down Josh was running late.  This meant that he would not get to see the letter until after Senior Staff.  She was counting on the time he spent in Staff to cool down a bit, plus she ran the risk of Leo telling him before he got the letter. 

"Shit," other staffers looked up at her. "Sorry I just jammed my finger.  Sorry" she muttered.

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Senior Staff**

"Sam's meeting with him about the…"

"Wait, why do I have to meet with him?  Toby he's on your schedule."

"Yes but I'm more importa…"

"Sorry I'm late, I got stuck on the Metro," Josh ran in, interrupting Toby.

"Nice of you to join us Josh," snickered CJ.

"What'd I miss?"

"Well I was just telling Leo, that Sam is meeting with Heinzur about the riders to the educational bill."

"Yes and I was just telling Leo, that he was…."

"Alright already! Sam meet with Heinzur, he doesn't like Toby anyway.  Moving on, Donna's resignation.  Josh, I'm assuming you'll be starting the interviewing process soon."

The room was silent.  CJ finding the ability to speak first, "Donna resigned?"

"Yes, well more like a transfer.  Josh you didn't tell them?  The First Lady offered her a position, yesterday.  Actually, if I got the story right, Amy offered the job to Donna."

"Josh you knew about this and didn't tell us?"

"I didn't know Sam.  Leo when did you get this?"

"It was on my desk this morning.  You mean you didn't know?  What the hell has been going on?  I noticed the tension but work was getting done so I wasn't going to play camp counselor.  What did you do?"

"I …um… _Amy _offered her the job?"  
"Yea Josh."  
Josh silent for a minute looked up from the hole he was bearing into the carpet and lied to Leo.  "Nothing has been going on.  It's a great opportunity for Donna, she had to take it.  I'm happy for her."

As they left Senior Staff, Sam and CJ tried to approach Josh.  Josh rebuked their attempts and just said "later." The three of them followed him to his office as he stomped his way there and slammed the door in front of their face.  While the others were concerned for Josh, Toby watched Donna as Josh re-entered the bullpen.  She looked sickly; she realized that he learned at Senior Staff.  Toby watch as Donna seemed to realize something and become even paler.  Toby realized her resignation letter was probably sitting on his desk.  He was pissed off in his office reading her letter.  As Toby, CJ and Sam headed back to their offices, Donna headed towards Josh.

Knock. Knock.

"Leave me alone."

"Josh."  
"Especially you."

Donna was fed up with all of this stupidity.  She opened the door walked into his office and slammed it shut behind her.  The sound startled Josh.  He looked up at her waiting for her to say something.  She noted that the hurt had returned to his eyes.

"Look, I'm sorry.  I didn't plan for you to find this out this way.  I wanted to tell you myself.  But you were running late and I didn't even get to see you.  I tried to get the letter back but Margaret must have already brought it in because it wasn't in his Inbox." As Donna rambled on nervously she twisted a small piece of paper between her hands.

"I see," were the only words he spoke.

Donna gaining some courage, moved further into the office, sitting in one of the visiting chairs.  Now she was directly across from him.  

"Josh you can't argue that this isn't a great opportunity for me.  Regardless of the state of our relationship, this is a huge step for me."

When he remained from answering, she continued.

"Look I didn't finish college as you know, so I don't expect many of these opportunities to come my way.  And when the do I've got to seize them.  I'm not going to lie to you, our relationship, or lack of one, and my current demotion were big reasons for me accepting this job.  But the main reason was that they are going to let me make a difference.  They aren't going to send me on stupid tasks because they don't trust me."

"Is that what you think?" Josh's voice was so low it was almost a whisper.

"Well why else would you stop giving me important assignments?  You obliviously don't trust me, and I know I have screwed up personally, but I didn't think that my work had been suffering."

"God Donna," Josh leaned back in his chair, closed his eyes and rubbed his temples, "it's not that I don't trust you."

"What is it then? Because I don't know what I did that was so wrong?  Why are you treating me like an intern?"  Donna pressed him further.

"I don't know."

"Oh don't give me that bullshit; you knew exactly what you were doing.  I want to know why?" Donna yelled getting angry at his refusal to give her any answers.

"What did you do wrong? How about not telling me you took another job?  Leaving me to find out in front of the rest of the staff?" Josh yelled back.

Donna had risen and leaned forward over the desk, "Stop avoiding the subject Josh,"

Josh rising to meet her, mere inches from her face, "You want to know what you did wrong? You led me on.  You let me believe that you had feelings for me when clearly you didn't.  You broke my heart and left me to pick up the pieces.  I stopped giving you work because it was too damn hard to work with you, " yelled Josh back.  He closed his eyes and sank back into this chair.  He didn't trust his voice and practically whispered, "Being close to you hurt, knowing that you don't feel the same way about me.  It hurts that I don't know what it's like to kiss you.  But mainly it hurts that I can't make you smile anymore."

Donna sat back down, silenced by his speech.  Her eyes filled with tears.  Why hadn't she thought of that?  Now she felt a little stupid insinuating that he didn't trust her.  He didn't trust himself around her.  When she looked up she noticed that his hands were covering his face.  Wiping the tears from her face, she got up from her chair and came around the desk to stand beside him. Half leaning, half sitting on his desk she called his name.

"Josh."

He didn't move or respond.  She reached up and gently removed his hands from his face.  Her suspicions that he was crying were correct.  His eyes were closed and he refused to look at her.

"Please just leave me alone, Donna."

She reached over and wiped the tears from his cheeks.  She kissed his check and whispered, "I'm so sorry Joshua."

His eyes remained closed but he moved his face towards Donna's, resting his forehead on hers.  The only sound in the room for several moments was the two breathing.  Finally Josh broke the silence, "I wanna make things right again, Donnatella."

"Me too," she whispered back.

He reached up to wipe her tears away, finally looking at her.  She smiled back at him.  He thought for a moment and then asked her, "What are you doing tonight?"

"Not much, my boss has become a softie and lets me out early."  Donna earned a smile for that remark.

"How about you, me and some Chinese food at my apartment tonight?"

Donna smiled at him, "it's a step."

Josh smiled back, "good."

Donna headed back to her desk, ignoring the glances from the other staffers who more then likely heard their exchange.  'I have to remember these walls are thin,' Donna thought to herself.

----Okay I'm a little stuck, but I'll work on it! I'm not sure how to keep going where I want, but I'll try.------


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimers and everything in the front. West Wing 

**Same day**

Josh stayed in his office for another hour trying to avoid the other staffers until.  At 11 he finally ventured out ready for his marathon of meetings on the Hill.  Slinging his backpack over his shoulder he approached Donna.

"Hey, I'm leaving now."

She looked up at him and half smiled, "okay.  You got everything?"

"Um, yeah I think so."

"Okay, so I guess I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, around 5:30 call in our order and I'll pick it up.  My last meeting should be over by 5, if not call in a bomb threat or something." He joked with her.

"I don't care how good their Chinese is, I'm not committing felonies just so we can eat on time, Mr. Lyman," she bantered back, "besides how would that look?  'Assistant to Deputy Chief of Staff calls in bomb threat so the Deputy could leave meeting early.'"

"Well granted you'd have a lot of explaining to do, however I think most would understand.  In fact you might just win "Assistant of the Year" award."

Donna just shook her head at him and Josh laughed.  They clearly were far from being were their relationship was but they were making the effort.

"I'll call you when I'm out."

"Do good Josh." She called to him as he headed down the hall.

"Don't I always?" he turned his head and shot back.

Around 4:30 Donna decided she should start "closing down" for the day so that she'd be ready to leave in an hour.  She had one last errand that she had to run.  She had to give some research to CJ for the evening press conference.

Donna knocked on CJ's door.  CJ on the phone waved her in.

"Yea I Got that Toby…I know…yes I understand to down play our role…yes...look Toby I got it…yes…ok…I'm hanging up now. Bye."

"I've got the research points that Josh wanted you to have for the evening briefing.  He said to make sure that you emphasize the test scores in low income areas."  
CJ stood up and leaning over her desk took the folder from Donna and briefly scanned the statistics.  She looked up and said, "thanks that's all I need."

"Okay," donna spun around and was almost out the door when she thought she heard CJ say something else.

"I'm sorry?"

"What?"

"Did you say something?"

"No."

"It sounded like you said, 'I hope you know what your doing.'"

CJ signed and sat back down.  Looking at Donna she asked, "Well do you?"

"Do I what know what I'm doing?"  Donna moved from the doorway back into CJ's office.

"Yea. Your killing him you know."

"CJ it's complicated."

"I'm sure it is."

"Look I'm sorry, I know that you're Josh's friend and you don't want to see him hurt, but really this is none of your business."

"Actually that's specifically why it's our business.  Your hurting Josh."

Donna turned around to see Sam standing in the doorway.  Blocking her exit path.

"Sam…"

"Donna how can you keep doing this to him?  It's bad enough that you spent 4 years flirting with him, tricking him to have feelings for you, but now you leave him and don't have the decency to tell him to his face."

"I had every intention to telling him."

"Sure that's why he found out this morning in Staff from Leo, along with Sam, Toby and myself.  Don't you think you should have told him before hand?  Instead of ambushing him?"

"What like you two are doing now?"

"But ours wasn't planned Donna.  I'm stopping by because Toby wanted me to tell CJ something."

"Oh for the love of god, Tobais," CJ muttered to herself.

"Look I don't know what you two think I am up too.  I had planned to tell him, but he was late and had to go straight to staff."

"Okay so that's an easy mistake, but it still hurt him.  Don't you see what you're doing to him?  Seriously? You broke his heart.  Did you ever care about him, even at all?"

Donna was getting angrier and more frustrated as the conversation went on.

"Where do you two get off?" she yelled at them

"Excuse me?"

" You heard me Sam.  Where were you two when he was shot and lying in the hospital? At work.  Where were you during his recovery?  At work.  Where were you when he put his hand through the glass?  Yes that's right at work.  I understand this is an important job and a once in a lifetime opportunity but lets get realistic for a moment.  You ask if I even cared about him.  Who was there with him? Me.  It was me who helped him clean his incision and change the bandages.  It was me who helped him when the pain was so bad from just coughing that he threw up.  It was me who saw him spiraling out of control and had the guts to do something about it at Christmas time. And don't mistake me I'd do it again if I was given the choice but you say you are his friend?  Well where were you then?  Where were you when he was struggling and needed you the most?  What were you doing that you didn't notice?"

"Donna…" 

"No Sam," she turned her gaze to Sam, "I'll tell you where you were.  You were chasing a blond republican. "  And turning to CJ, "you were busy with a reporter.  So don't either of you even suggest that I don't care about him.  And yes, I wouldn't agree to enter into a relationship with a man that just broke up with his girlfriend and was lost and confused.  I was doing that for both our sakes.  He came over hurt and confused, not exactly two traits that one should be feeling when seeking a new relationship.  I do love Josh, enough to know that then was not the time for us.  I want whatever is going to happen between us to last and if I had said yes that night it was a surefire way for us to crash and burn.  So I'd appreciate it if you two would drop the attitude and start treating me with some respect, I think I've earned it."

The room was silent.  Donna made her way to the door stopping in front of Sam.  She looked up to him and asked, "Please move, I need to get back to my desk."

Sam nodded and stepped away allowing her to pass.  Sam entered into CJ's office and Donna heard the door shut behind her.  No doubt the two were to talk about what happened.  Donna reached her desk to find her phone ringing.

"Josh Lyman's office."

"What took you so long?  I thought I was going to have to leave a voice mail message for myself, which is weird."  
"I was in with CJ and Sam," her voice breaking slightly.

"You okay?"

"Yea, actually I'm hungry.  You out?"

"Yes you can breath a sigh of relive.  I don't need you to commit any felonies today.  Although the night is still young."

"True, I'm sure you'll thinking of something.  I've been told I'd make a good stalker."

Josh laughed, "I wouldn't bet against that.  So you ready to go?"

"Yup I'll call now and see you at your place."

"Great and if you want ice cream or desert you should stop on the way."

"You mean you aren't getting everything?"

"Hey Donna, I'm only one man."

"That's true.  God imagine if there were more of you.  What kind of world would that be?"

"That's really funny, I'm hanging up now so that you can call.  This is costing the tax payers money."

"What do you care?  We're democrats we like taxes."

"Good bye Donnatella."  
"I'll see you soon Joshua."


End file.
